“So you were with him for this long and its over now …”, he
said. I looked at him nodding and then happened the expected.
“ Umm .. can I ask you something … if you don’t mind.”, he
said. And I sighed because I knew what the question was but I did not want to
sound rude so I said, “yea sure anything ... go on.”
“Do you still love him?” It was an expected question.
Everytime I meet someone new, we do definitely land up
discussing our past relationships. And in every discussion of the past one of
the most commonly asked questions is – Do you still love Him?? Now its not like
I hate this question or anything of that sort. Its just a simple question with
a complicated answer for me.
For that moment I said “No I don’t love him anymore and its
all over and it was my past.”
The meeting was over and the guy I was seeing had left and I
wanted to sit at the café. We had chosen a table in the open lawn of the café.
I sat there looking at the clouds forming different shapes and moving on and
pondering over the question – do I still love him?
Do I? My honest reply to this question is – Yes !! Yes I
still do love him. I still do love the way he used to call me every night before going to bed and
putting me to sleep while talking of random things. I still love the way he
used to make sure that I had my dinner on time. I still love the way he used to
call me as soon as he got back from school/college and tell me how boring his
day was and how much he missed me.
I still love those gifts which he had gifted me out of the
money he saved up secretly. I still love those dates, where he knew I was done
eating whenever I started playing with the food in my plate. I still love how
he used to call in the middle of the night and sweetly apologise for getting
drunk. I still love the way he used to be possessive about me.
I still love everything we used to do and everything we used
to have while we were together but that does not mean that if he comes at my doorstep today I will accept him back !!
Because I loved the person he was during our relationship.
But things changed over time between us. He changed and I changed. He became
someone I could never love and so I am not in love with him anymore but I am
still in love with the guy he used to be.
Love is eternal – this is not just a saying. It is a truth
which many of us don’t realize exists. Love exists even if the couple does not
exist. It is that one form which stays on forever. And the love we both used to
have still exists but it exists in the time which has long gone and has now
become our past and nothing more.
So do I still love him? – Yes !! Yes I love the man he was
for me, the man he used to be in that Moment but I am not in love with the person he is today.